Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Facebook/MySpace Flirtation

Oh Facebook. You've provided me with unknown hours of procrastination and given me so many ways to stalk old friends and new enemies. But you are also the source of creepy behavior, in particular, the abuse of the "poke". I was recently poked (what does this mean anyway? even Facebook acknowledges that it's completely random) by a guy I have no connection to, who ironically attends the same college my boyfriend recently graduated from. There was no message attached to his poke, but his profile did contain this telling statement:

"Interests: Probably NOT you - but if I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this:

Handsome, cultured, intellectual with a big dick seeks beautiful women in a long term, committed relationship for the purpose of making boyfriend/husband insanely jealous; for the purpose of securing diamonds, jaguars, new home in prestigious area or beach front property. Multi-orgasm training included at no additional charge."

I kid you not.

I agree that Facebook (and its sketch-ay cousin MySpace) is a great tool for meeting new people, including potential dates or hook ups, and I don't resent anyone for using the site for these purposes. But if you're going to try to flirt online, there have to be some guidelines.

First, you don't want to sound desperate, despite how desperate you may be (I go to a women's college so trust me, I have seen desperation). Although it can be used in a similar way, Facebook and MySpace are not dating sites, so don't use your profile to discuss who you're looking for and what you have to offer, etc. Just discuss your interests and show your personality and (assuming you're not a huge mess) you should get at least a few responses.

Make sure your profile states what you're looking for in a relationship: that you're single and looking for dating, a relationship, whatever you can get, etc.

You don't want to make it sound like you're poking or messaging every cute girl or guy within a 20 mile radius. If you have a gazillion friends and lots of flirtatious posts on your wall (or message board), people won't take your flirtation very seriously.

Send a personalized message with your friend request and use self-deprecating humor. It doesn't hurt to insist that you're not a stalker.

Speaking of poking, don't poke! It's lame! Send a quick message or just add the person as a friend.

If you are single and hope that people contact you, make sure your profile is fairly detailed, so that people who've never met you can get a feel for who you are and what you're into. This includes the picture. If you're trying to meet someone on Facebook or MySpace, you have to have a good picture. This does not include pictures from your childhood, a picture of a celebrity or any photo where your face and/or body are partly hidden. Don't expect people to want to meet you if they have no idea what you look like, because I assure you they'll assume the worst.

Don't be offended if no one responds. As I said earlier, Facebook and MySpace are not dating sites and many people are still a little uncomfortable with the idea of meeting total strangers through the sites. If you want to try online dating for real, use JDate or Match.com.


Ally said...

Facebook and Myspace make my head explode on a quasi-regular basis, yet I can't seem to pull myself away from them. I just miss my old college girlfriends so much!

S.B.G. said...

Also, important to remember...
Don't put ANYTHING on your Facebook, MySpace or Blog that you'd be afraid of a potential employer or university seeing or something that could come back to haunt you.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the full idea of "poking" on Facebook either... Especially if we're already friends, don't poke me!

Ahh, boys. I'll never figure out their odd internet ways.

Meg said...

I agree with you allly and rvafashionista, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love being able to stay connected with so many people but I hate how it's turned everyone into such a stalker! Oh well.


Matt said...

holy shit! This is more hilarious than you know. My friend was just telling me that this is a "pick up artist" profile- used by the dating guru people. We did a google search to see what profiles it pulled up so we could get a good laugh. This person is far more pathetic than you even thought before.