Sunday, February 11, 2007

2007 Grammys Best and Worst Dressed List

If you're looking for my post on the 2007 Oscars best and worst dressed list, click here.

I thought that the Golden Globes were a B-list awards show, but I had no idea how bad the Grammys would be. If you set aside the people who peaked about 20 years ago (the Stevie Wonder's and Sting's) and the quasi-celebs who seem to show up at the opening of an envelope (Brooke Hogan, Maria Menounos, Vanessa Minnillo), there were very few artists who I was actually excited to see. I don't know if this is a reflection of a boring year in music, or a lack of real superstars, but any event where the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls is treated like an A-lister is a very sad event.

If the celebrity turnout was a disappointment, the fashions were even worse. Nearly everyone wore a variation on the metallic minidress (some better than others), and even the catastrophes were more confusing and sad than laughable. It just felt like something had sapped all the energy associated with rock and pop stars out of the Grammys. Where was the sexiness? The attitude? The creativity? And why is Alyson Hannigan introducing Gnarls Barkley (and didn't they perform at least year's show too)?

Because the concept of "best dressed" is naturally problematic at a show with such a pathetic showing, I'm going to break this list into "acceptable" and "ugly". Without further ado...

The Acceptable

This is Nicole Scherzinger, the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls (thank you Wikipedia). You may not recognize her, as she's not dressed as a cheap hooker as she and the other Dolls usually are. While this outfit isn't perfect (I would have taken the fabric from the train and used it to cover up that too-high slit), the color combination is young and very "pop" and the draped, gauzy fabric adds the kind of glamour not normally seen at the Grammys.

This is Lara Spencer. I don't know who she is, but she should know that this dress is a little too similar to the dress Reese Witherspoon rocked at the Globes just a month ago. But aside from that, it's still a great dress. The bright yellow is refreshing, the length and neckline are modest and flattering and the belt is a nice, trendy way of showing off her curves and adding some sexiness to the outfit. While most women were either overdressed or underdressed, Lara hit the nail on the head.

The Ugly

Mandy Moore is such a gorgeous girl... so whose idea was it to throw her in a shapeless, floor-length orange and brown floral-printed dress, and tie it together with a grommeted belt? And while I appreciate an actress who's not made up to the point of looking plastic, looking like you just rolled out of bed (the hair) and put on a swipe of lip gloss is simply too low-maintenance for a major awards show. If the 70's are back, please shoot me now.

I understand that the Dixie Chicks aren't ready to make nice, but do they have to punish us with a trio of black sack dresses that look more than defeated than defiant? Natalie (in the center) only adds to the weight of her dress with layers of heavy gold necklaces, but sisters Emily and Martie were smart to avoid accessorizing gowns that appear to have been intended for pregnant women. For three women with talent to spare and no shortage of personality, I'm disappointed that they didn't choose outfits that reflected their strong, feminine sound.

While I was relieved to see that Brooke Hogan decided to wear an outfit with more fabric than she wore in total for 2006, she's still very confused about what it means for a dress to fit. For one, it shouldn't be so tight across your hips that it bunches and creates unflattering horizontal stripes that draw attention to your widest part. Secondly, if a fabric is both skin tight and shiny, it's going to add weight where you barely have any, as Brooke's belly shows. I do like the color and Brooke deserves props for trying to look older and more glamourous (even if it's imitating Xtina's latest look), but the heavy makeup and too-stiff hair only serve to age her in the worst way.

I'm convinced that Beyonce is furious over the fact that Jennifer Hudson has completely overshadowed her first foray into "serious acting" and I think her expression in this photo says it all. From the hair to the dress and accessories, the normally lovely Beyonce looks like she just gave up. Her hair is limp and lifeless and the dress has a nice shape and length but is ruined by an excess of fabric and beading with no purpose (a hallmark of her mother's designs). Where is the Beyonce who roared "RING THE ALARM" and through sheer force of her fabulousness, out-diva'd the best of them? J.Hud may have kicked ass in "Dreamgirls", but you're still the queen B.

Another awards show, another schizophrenic Nelly Furtado outfit. She makes me wonder whether Bravo has a new reality show titled "style Nelly Furtado" where the contestants are forced to work together to combine their individual aesthetics into one outfit, which Nelly will gladly wear to each major awards show. Honestly, what is up with this dress? The costumey combination of the gold braiding, blue and silver sequins and limp strings of feathers dangling from the skirt is just too much for one poor dress to handle. Add a permed 80's bob and gigantic dangly earrings and you have yet another Nelly Furtado red carpet catastrophe.

Well that's it for this year's Grammy's fashion rundown... be sure to check back for my Oscars best and worst dressed list, I promise that there will be far more interesting celebs and outfits to discuss!


GirlPaint said...

I'm with you with a couple of exceptions...Laura Spencer (is that her name? And yes, who is she?), she's not on my thumbs up list. But I thought the Chicks (Dixie version) looked great...but I love black and I love the Chicks. Scary Brook, my. The acorn doesn't fall far...well you know the rest and you know the reason.

Freakazojd said...

Oh could you miss Imogen Heap? :)

Meg said...

Freakazojd- When people like Bjork and Imogen Heap wear these ridiculously over the top outfits for no purpose other than to get attention, I don't think they deserve any additional publicity and I'd rather make fun of celebs who appear to have actually tried to look good, and totally failed. It was a joke outfit, and there isn't even much to say about it other than it was a great PR move.

Isn't it kind of sad that crazy outfits get way more press than legitimately beautiful ones? Then again, I was actually happy to see that at least one person embodied the "f*ck you" rock and roll spirit that was sadly missing from the Grammys this year.

Anne said...

Um, I won't take issue with the crappiness of the outfits but I think there's no need for you to bash musical legends like Stevie Wonder and Sting who are still better musicians than 90% of the people here, including basically all of the people you just listed who will be remembered for what they wore, not what they sang.

That said, I think Lara Spencer is the host of one of the entertainment news shows.

Meg said...

Anne, I think you misunderstood my point. I agree that artists like Sting and Stevie Wonder are better than 99% of the contemporary artists who were at the Grammys (how many awards did John Mayer win? Ugh), and I was trying to imply that most of today's music and musicians are so pathetic compared to the greats of the 60's, 70's and 80's. The fact that the show had to rely so strongly on older artists just reinforces that point.

Anne said...

Fair enough, the older artists were the only ones I tuned in to see. And most of them peaked right around when I was born. I agree with you (now) and I think that must say something less than flattering about today's musical scene.

What makes me sad is Imogen Heap. I saw her this summer when she toured with one of my husband's rock guitar gods from the 60's and she looked like a gorgeous hot rocker chick and sang like Janis Joplin (nothing like her solo stuff). I wish people knew her for that stuff instead of crazy outfits.