I always feel a little uncomfortable when someone asks me what I'd like for Christmas. I'll usually say that there's nothing I really need, that I'd be happy with anything, etc, but when people insist, I'll try to think of a few things that I know I'd like. I do at least try to be cognizant about the person's financial situation, their closeness to me, and so on, but it's hard to come up with ideas.
I'm probably not the only one who feels a little selfish when I'm asked to make a wish list, but I find myself asking family members that same question every year. I love to search for unexpected items that just scream a friend or family member's name, but these items don't always fall into your lap. But that doesn't always happen, and at the end of the day you want to know that the recipient is receiving something they really love.
There's definitely a good and a bad way to go about making a wish list. The first rule is obviously that, unless someone has asked, don't send them one. They may have already gotten your present and will feel badly if it doesn't match any of the items you listed. It also sends the wrong message about your attitude toward gifts, that you expect and deserve something, when every gift should be treated as a special, unnecessary treat.

But what if someone (mom, grandma, boyfriend, brother, etc) asks for some suggestions? I think the best route is to stay vague, so that they don't feel pressure to buy one specific thing, which they might not like or may be out of their price range. When my aunt asked me what I'd like for Christmas, I said that I'd appreciate anything I can use when I get my first apartment after graduating in May. I know there are so many things I'll need, and it would be great to have something practical that reminds me of my aunt when I use it. By opening it up to the wide category of home stuff, I figured that she could find something within her budget and not feel too worried that she'd be getting something I wouldn't like or use.
If you didn't have a specific situation like mine, you could always mention something you're interested in. I was really into throwing wine and cheese parties for a while and one Christmas my family got me everything I needed for entertaining, which was great. A person might run the risk of purchasing something you already own, but let them take the initiative to ask for something more specific.
If someone wants more specific suggestions, be sure to make a list that includes things from a variety of price points, and items that are easily available (I usually will send a few links to sites where you can buy the items so that the person doesn't need to search all over for it). I always have a long list of books on my wish list at Amazon
(full disclosure - I benefit if you shop at Amazon through links on my site), so I'll usually send a few links to those to family members who ask what I'd want, and books are great since the person can buy one or a few depending on how much they'd like to spend. If you've got a family member who's not very internet-savvy, listing the titles of the books you're interested in is a good idea, since they can always find them at a local bookstore.
I think it's also important to take the other person's interests in mind when you're making a wish list. When my sister mentioned that she's been looking for a new purse, I was so excited to start looking for one for her Christmas gift. Finding the right gift is difficult in itself, don't make it harder by asking for things the other person has no knowledge about or interest in.
I'm a big believer in giving charitable donations as gifts, and I think it's acceptable to ask for a charitable donation. I would give the person multiple options (other charities and regular items, in case they're uncomfortable with the organizations you listed) and would avoid listing any charities that might compromise the other person's values. Unless you know for sure that your mom supports the same candidate, has the same religious affiliation or feels strongly about a divisive social issue, don't request donations to these types of charities.
We live in such a materialistic culture that it's often easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we deserve expensive or lavish gifts if someone has the financial means to purchase pricey things. I was mildly disgusted to read about the rising trend of shoppers making wish lists at their favorite stores and then having the store contact loved ones to recommend that they purchase the items. I think Anna Post (Emily's great-great granddaughter) is spot-on when she said, "A gift should be about the relationship between the giver and the receiver. When you have a middleman like that, it becomes a business transaction."
I don't think anyone has the right to ever be angry or disappointed if they receive something other than what they requested on a wish list. This is a petty, selfish, materialistic attitude that totally goes against the real meaning of the holiday. Be grateful for anything you receive, don't worry too much about searching for that "perfect gift" and let the holidays be about spending time with your loved ones and expressing gratitude for having them in your life.
What are your thoughts on wish lists? Are they tacky or necessary?